Amelia Talks: advice

Well Hello and Welcome back to my blog and to another post, hope you're all doing well? Hope you're having a wonderful day. I have come up with this ideas to have these coffee chats on my blog because there are things I want to get off my chest and need to write down, whether this helps others or it's just there for my mind to reassure myself.

This blog post is about how to deal with a heartbreak or surviving a down day, a lot of things will be talking about a heart break but I feel like some of the things you do to deal with a heart break, you can also do on a down day. Remember it's alright to have those days when you're feeling down.

So story time before I give my little tips on how to deal with heartbreak, this topic came to me because recently I fell for a guy and we went on dates and things got a little closer in the fact that we nearly had sex, and then thing started to change, it went from him making an effort to see me, to then not making the effort and then him telling me he can't reciprocate the feelings, which okay yes he told me the truth, but he kind of led me on and it did hurt because I was falling for him and to hear that it really broke my heart. Even if I have never been in a relationship but I definitely felt my heart break over that, I cried from about 2am the night he told me to about 10pm the next day. But then these things I am bout to give you tips on helped me through it and I thought I would share it with you guys. I also made a statement on my instagram that can be found right here >>>> https://www.instagram.com/p/Bkq_5ZzBh5J/?taken-by=missamelia.jane.

So lets get into these tips that I am given, none of them are professional, some of them are things I have heard from others and some of them are just things that genuinely helped me move on from everything that was going on in my life.

1. Let out a little Cry
You probably hear this everywhere, but it's okay to let out a cry, to be emotional, it doesn't mean you're weak, it doesn't mean the other person has won, it just means you're human. Honestly as much as you might not want to cry, you need to, it lets out everything and all the pain you're feeling helps you let go, it's crazy to think that even just crying over something can help you, it won't mend a broken heart and it won't fix anything but it does help and it does make you feel better because you've addressed the problems in your head and your mind is just telling you that you need to cry and then you do, whether you cry in front of people or you cry on your own don't be ashamed as I promise you, you will feel a little better if you do so.
2. Keep yourself busy
This is something that I think is important when you're having a down day or going through heartbreak, you need to keep yourself busy, make sure you're doing something all through the day because otherwise you're going to end up miserable and thinking about everything and sad. Luckily for me when I got told that this guy couldn't reciprocate the feelings for me, I was cleaning and having to pack my room up so that distracted me and honestly, having something to keep you busy always helps because then your mind isn't focusing on the bad things going on in your mind, your mind is focused on something else.
3. Focus on the good things in your life
Of course when you're going through a bad time, it's hard to remember that there are so many good things going on in your life. It's something we all do when we're down, you just look past every amazing thing that is going for you and what is going on in your life. For example, as a uni student I can focus on all the amazing opportunities that are still out there for me. We can all focus on the good things and something I heard in a YouTube video that I recently watched, write in a journal either every night or when ever you feel down and sad, something that is really good in your life whether that be something you have achieved or whether it's a friendship or just something that has happened that has made you happy. The way I see it is always try to think positive.
4. Give yourself Me time
This is something that we all neglect to do because you think you need to be somewhere for someone else, you have to do this for someone else, but where do you fit in? You can't always be places for others but you can always take a few hours of your day or a even a day and just have some time to yourself, whether that be just chill and watch a movie, or getting your nails done on your own, or reading a book, you really find that if you just give yourself time, it will really help and I think no matter how busy your days might be with meeting friends or going to work or college or school or whatever you have going on, you should give yourself a couple of hours to yourself and just unwind and give yourself some time a lone. Maybe do a little work out to clear your mind or have a nice pamper evening and relax and pop a Netflix show on.
5. Go for Walks
This is something I really emphasise, going for walks anywhere can be relaxing, just a walk on your own with your headphones and listening to some music and just giving yourself time to unwind can be really helpful and can always help you just clear your head. It's great if you live by a beach but even if you have a little park area you can go to, it really helps. Because you just have yourself, fresh air and a way to just relax and get your head away from anything that makes you miserable and feel down and clear your head of anything that is going on. Walks always help with that perfect playlist playing whilst your on that walk and i definitely recommend creating a certain playlist with music that helps pick you up and feel better.

So that is my tips on how to deal with a heart break or survive a down day, I would love to know any other tips that others have to deal with a down day or a heart break, so please leave your advice in the comments, it would be great to see so we can all help each other out.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post, hope you check out my other blog posts and enjoy the rest of your day :)

You can follow my social media links here:

Instagram - @missamelia.jane

Twitter - @ameliajfilms

Youtube - AmeliaOTHLaing

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Hello and welcome back to my blog, how's everyone doing? It's been a while since I last posted a post but now all exams are over and first year is done! How exciting! So now here we are with another post and it's one long over due after filming a video about it, but it is my first year university experience. Back in October I gave you my freshers experience but now I have been at the university for a year now, I think it's about time I talk about the experience I have had and hope that maybe this will help others who are either going to University in September or are thinking of going in the future.

When I chose to go off to university I didn't think I was going to last even a year but things definitely changed once i got there. I am going to break this post down in different sections. In each section I will give my experience within it as well as advice for people who need the advice.

But first off you can find my YouTube video of this down below.

Section 1 - Living in Halls

When I first started university, I was definitely worried about living in halls, would I get along with my flat mates, would I be able to hang out with my flat mates, what if they hate me. It's a big change to go from living at home with your parents to then just jump up and leave and live in halls on your own with just a group of people who also have done the same thing. That's when you realise you're no longer at school, clique's don't exist, you can be yourself and most people don't care. I was very lucky that my flat mates made living away from home very easy, we bonded very quickly and although we had one flat mate that never really joined us, we did get on very well with him as well. I was the only girl in my flat but honestly, I didn't mind it, we all got on, we all spoke about a lot of things and we used to always hang out and do things as a flat.

As time moved a head, things with my flat started to not be the same, partly because when they got in relationships things just drifted but it wasn't that we didn't get on, we actually still got on really well but we didn't do things together as much any more. Now although that really did suck because it made me feel really lonely and that was when I started to feel slightly depressed but luckily there were people to pick me up and that definitely got better because i found people in the halls that I could go to.

Another thing about halls, is that it really made me feel so much more independent then if I had decided to stay at home and commute but also makes me more proud and happy to have come to university. I have learnt how to deal with problems on my own, what it's like to survive on my own and what I have to do. I have learnt how to slightly cook for myself although not even going to lie, I am more excited about going home and not having to cook for myself and enjoy my dads cooking again.

Section 2 - Friendships at University

When you are at university, it's easy to believe you won't make friends like I mentioned above that I didn't think I would make friends with the people I lived with. I also didn't think I would make friends with others as well. It's surprising how quickly you make friends at uni, and how many friends you make. Now of course some of these will just be friends you see occasionally in class and you might bump into on a night out. But others will be friends you'll

meet up with outside of the class and hang out with them, talk, go shopping, explore the place you're now living and just having fun and making memories.

Another way of making friends in your course is group work. Majority of uni's do

this, especially first years but probably second years too, they put you in groups as in the real world you usually have to end up working as a team for a career. When working in groups, you have to spend a lot of time with the people who are in your group, which also leads to getting to know them. I made three of my closest friends from my marketing group, and we ended up spending a lot of time at the group meetings chatting instead of doing work. One of my best friends Simran also came from being part of a group and without her I probably wouldn't have the friends I do now and I am very grateful for.

My advice for people nervous about making friends at university is just be yourself, and don't think about past experiences at school with making friends, because I garentee you, it's not like school when you have to fit in and be part of a "clique", people will just easily talk to you and just be approachable and you will make friends, quicker then you think you will.

Section 3 - Friendships at Home

This is something I definitely wished more people spoke about before I left for uni, because my closest friends who go to uni both commute so I still got the chance to see them when i was back home last year before coming to university. Friendships at home are something you want to make sure you can keep them going so when you go home you can go to them, you can spend time with them and catch up. Now luckily for me most of my friendships at home stayed the same, mainly because we were used to not seeing each other that often and when we did it obviously meant a lot. But uni did strain one of my friendships at home and as much as I want to say I think we'll still be friends in the future, things have been complicated, with some friends thinking I have changed since being at uni, well that was inevitable, but in my eyes and majority of my friends I have changed for the better but in one of my friends eyes I changed for the worse and wasn't making time for my "real friends" But I was for my uni friends. Going with this at uni you're going to spend time with people at the uni otherwise you'll be lonely but that doesn't change how i feel about my friends at home. With this, my closest friends at uni are my real friends alongside my friends from home and I shouldn't have to seperate them because I have met them at uni, because when you're around people every day at uni, you get closer to them quicker then you think.

Although it can strain friendships like it has with one of my friends, it does make you value your friendships at home more because it gives you something to look forward too when you have to go home. When you have attached yourself to a group of friends at uni and then you have to go and not see them for a certain amount of time, it's nice to know that when you go home you can catch up with your friends from home and have a lot to talk about and catch up on.

Section 4 - Stress

As you are aware when you grow up, you will get more stress but something they don't tell you yet you kind of expect with university is Stress! I have definitely encountered a lot of stress over the time of being at uni and it hasn't exactly been fun dealing with this stress but it has definitely been something to learn from and I have definitely learned from this. One of the big stresses is Money! As a student you are given a maintenance loan with your student finance and this is great and you see a large sum of money in your account but the problem with that is for me anyway is that I just wanted to spend it on anything and before I knew it I was slowly running out of money. It became stressful because I had to turn down some amazing things but the stress it left me with was more will I have enough money for whilst I am at home in holidays and using an overdraft is a big stress because you don't want to use it all up.

Another thing that I ended up stressing about was finding someone to live with next year and having a place to live. It's not easy finding people to live with and it's also not easy finding a house and it led to a stress. Luckily this stress only lasted a few days for me because when I started stressing over it, I then met someone who needed one more person to live with next year to make a group of four of us and luckily for me, I love making new friends so it wasn't that hard for me to say yes.

Something everyone expects to stress about is Deadlines, the Dreaded Deadlines that approach very quickly even when you don't expect them too. It's easy for you to get caught up in exciting things before you then realise you have like a week to get this essay written. I mean I got stressed about them more because I didn't understand some of my coursework that led to me having four days to write an essay that I didn't really understand but luckily I got it done, didn't get the best grade for that one but either way it was definitely a stressful time.

Section 5 - Societies

The final section is all about Societies, so this is something I advise as many of you who are going to university to join. Societies are there for a reason, they are there for you to do something you enjoy that's not your course and a place where you can make new friends and friends who all enjoy what you enjoy which makes it more fun and something to make you bond. I joined Show Choir and when I first joined I was so quiet and honestly didn't think I would enjoy it. As time went by I grew out of my shell and started talking to everyone and then became very good friends with everyone in show choir. I was also very lucky to win an award at the end of year meal for Miss Congeniality because I always had a smile on my face, I made friends with everyone and apparently put a smile on everyone's faces.

That is the end of my First Year University Experience, so I know it's a lot of writing and not many pictures but there was a lot to say. Hope you do enjoy the pictures that are there though.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this blog post.

You can follow my social media links here:

Instagram - @missamelia.jane

Twitter - @omgamelia07

Youtube - AmeliaOTHLaing

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So first off welcome back to my blog, I am very happy to be writing again and excited to announce here as i haven't done so here yet unlike I have on Twitter and Instagram. But after long decisions, I have finally started a YouTube channel which you can find here. Would love it if you checked it out and maybe subscribed.

So for this post I have decided to write something I have been wanting to right for ages and this really is for me mainly but for other people out there who felt the same as me about being single when seeing others happy in a relationship, then maybe this will help you.

Recently, well when I say recently I mean more like for the past couple of years or so, I have felt lonely, felt like I need a guy in my life, I need to be in a relationship, I shouldn't be single. Then I always asked myself how comes I am single? What's wrong with me? Am I ugly? Am I boring? Why is everyone else around me getting in relationships but I'm not? And honestly it really disheartened me for such a long time.

It took me a long time to believe that I could be single and being single is great, but then I realised, I'm only 22, I don't need to be in a relationship, I just need to be myself, be independent and be happy to be single because honestly you only get one shot at your twenties, might as well make the most of them and if you're spending all your time hung up over the fact that you're single then you're not going to make the most of them, instead you're just going to spend all your time wishing for something that won't come along.

I know it's a cringey and old time saying, but I believe that it's true, the fact that when you're not looking and not waiting, someone will eventually come along, when you're ready. If you're lucky you might meet them when you're in early twenties, in your teens but sometimes you just might meet them in your late twenties or early thirties, and you know what, that's okay.

Now I know it's tough seeing your friends in a relationship and cuddling up, even seeing anyone walking hand in hand together and you can sometimes think I just wish for that. But there is always time for it, the more you go looking for it, you could find the wrong guy and end up getting badly hurt but if you wait for it to happen, you might find the right person and be genuinely happy.

There is NOTHING wrong with being single. It's actually perfectly fine to be single and a lot more normal then you think. It's actually fun and once you fully indulge the single life you can have so much fun. If you have watched how to be single then you know doing things on your own really helps. Also spend time with friends and just have a laugh it's fun. When you go out with friends for nights out or anywhere, just go and have fun, don't go looking for a guy or a potential partner, it will get you feeling very low if you do look for one and don't get one and you don't need that. Also like in sex and the city, surround yourself with great friends and make them your family and love them because real and true friends will be by your side all the time.

So pretty much all I am saying live the single life right and have fun. That's what I am planning to do!

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this blog post.

You can follow my social media links here:

Instagram - @_ameliajl

Twitter - @omgamelia07
Youtube - AmeliaOTHLaing

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Oh and welcome back to my blog, it's been a while I know, but I didn't know what to post until this hit me. I'm a 20 year old girl, I am no longer a student, I am almost 21 and have no clear idea for my future. Remember at School when your teacher tells you that you need to have an idea of your future job and people come up with ideas that they want to be a "Teacher" or a "Lawyer" or a "Footballer" or an "Actress" or a "Technician" or even a "Chef." But the thing is at a young age as even 20, how can you be so sure of what you want to do or be in the future or where you want to be in the future when everything is changing? How do you make up your mind of where you want to be in ten years from now? Why do people expect you to make up your mind when you're only young? How do people expect you to make up you mind of what you want to do when the world is continuously change?

What I think is that when anyone tells you or asks you what you want to do in the future, you take that quote from Twilight: Eclipse, as cheesy as it might sound, " Change your mind. Then change it again because nothing is permanent. So make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask again what we want to be. We won't have to guess. We'll know." As much as it sounds cheesy, it's right, we're young and there is never a definite answer of what you wish to do.

From the top picture, you can see three things, one of them includes University of Sussex, no I am not currently at University but I have plans to go next year. This will link back to making mistakes and everything changes, if you asked me a year ago like my college teacher if I wanted to go to university, you would have got the answer of No, I just want to go into full time work. Then Summer came around and everything changed, including my thoughts about going to Uni, I realized I wanted something new and then going around the University I have wanted to go to since I was 16 before I decided I didn't want to go Uni, I fell in love with the university and everything around it, then I realized I wanted to go to Uni for real and experience the independent life.

Another part of the picture is two retail stores, if you didn't know before I have been working at Shoe Zone, I have been working there for two years now and I absolutely love it, even though it's tough and annoying and not the best pay, working there has made me feel part of a family and close friends. Recently the managers daughter has started and I am super glad to work with her because she's definitely fun to work with. But to be honest I couldn't imagine myself not working there. Then there's Bags ETC, I recently started working there and as much as it's different to shoe zone and I am still working there, it's still something I am enjoying.

All I am trying to say is don't let people tell you that you need to define your future because of all this , it's your future not anyone elses and you need to remember that. It took me a long time to realize that I needed to stop making other people proud and to try and make myself proud, so now I have more confidence in myself and now I am feeling more free and excited for my future.

So thats the end of my story and although it's tough, I hope everyone can learn to make their future their own.

So this is a little different to my usual blog posts but i am finally getting back into writing and I feel as if I just need to write about what I feel so we'll see what's next up. I kind of feel like I'm writing like Carrie Bradshaw.

So that is the end of my post, I hope you enjoyed reading this post as much as I enjoyed writing it. Feel free to leave a comment.

You can follow my social media links here:

Instagram - @_ameliajl

Twitter - @omgamelia07

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So I am throwing a blog post in on a Tuesday, but I thought as I am starting to panic about my future I thought I'd make a little post about the future or some advice to try and calm yourself down. I will point out, I don't think I suffer with anxiety but I do tend to worry and panic when it comes to thinking what I want to do in the future and considering I have 1 more year left at college then I have a big choice of what I do in the future and that's the big worry I have. So here is a little advice to try and help others who will come to have the same problem.

If you are having trouble deciding what you want to do, don't think you are the only one. There is no doubt that you'll have someone else out there who is the same.
Don't think you have one choice and one chance to make a decision as you would have found out you change your mind so quickly.
Don't think you can avoid thinking of the future, because the more you try to avoid it the worse your worries get. REMEMBER you are going to grow up, you are going to have to make decisions, you are going to make mistakes, you are going to have to figure out what you want to do.
Don't think that you make one choice after finishing college or school that you are stuck with it for the rest of your life, it might start off thinking that way, but here's the deal, I always wanted to go to Drama College after college next year but now I want to go into a full time job of IT or Computing. That doesn't mean I have ruled out Drama College or Acting or Performing at all, I am just putting in my back pocket and maybe I'll revisit that idea in the near future. A lot of people have had one choice and stuck with it for a long while and then decided to change their mind and now want to do something completely different and that is completely Okay.
If you see someone else who has got a job that is in the same kind of area you want to go into but you never get it, okay yeah it is disheartening but just be supportive instead of being jealous and everything.
Don't worry about panicking about the future, because trust me, it is a good thing because it means you are serious about your future and you know it's important and it's going to happen.
Remember although you are worrying about your future, try to enjoy planning it and thinking about it because you will find a good idea of a future in the long run and if I am honest it's much better to try and look forward and enjoy the future then to be dreading it. But remember it is totally fine to be worrying, don't think their is something wrong with you just because you're worrying about.

So I know this might not be helpful, but I thought I would post it as I had it on my mind and i decided to post it as I didn't post a post yesterday either. Feel free to leave a comment.

You can follow my social media links here:

Instagram - @_ameliajl

Twitter - @omgamelia07

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