Amelia Talks: 2019

Hello and welcome back to my blog, I am so happy to be writing this blog post, mainly because I feel like I need to just need to get this off my chest, I even filmed a video on it. This is something I actually think that most girls, or most people should actually spend more time focusing on it.

This is about why I am choosing myself over others now, and what I am doing to really be happy by myself.

As Carrie Bradshaw once said, "I am just going to be myself. Single and Fabulous!" Which is the exact thing I am going to be.

In the words of Ru Paul, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love someone else."

It takes a lot to say NO I am going to just focus on myself now and no one else and trust me I for one definitely get it, I have always been a person who puts other peoples feelings before mine! But sometimes you have to realise if you don't focus on yourself, you are not going to be happy!

Being free and just the chance to be yourself and feel like you are going to love yourself and give yourself self care and make sure you are the happiest you can be on your own.

I have a few reasons why I am choosing myself, first of all is HAPPINESS! This is because you can't and shouldn't rely on others to make you happy, yes you can be happy in the company of others but that doesn't mean you can't be happy with your own company and it should be you making yourself happy which is something I have had to learn over the past two years of university.

Another thing is I am starting to realise I don't NEED others to make me happy, I just need myself, I need to focus on me and making myself happy! Which if you give yourself a healthy mindset you can be happy.

This point leads on, the lss you need others the more INDEPENDANT you will become, becuase you won't be relying on anyone else but yourself to be happy which means you can realy focus on yourself. Because the more you rely on others to make you happy, means you'll do anything to make them happy even if you're not happy. So once you start focusing on yourself you become more independant.

Another thing is and this goes back to making others happy, STOP doing things you don't want to do for others just because it'll make them happy.

Another thing is and this is what I did all the time, I let people walk all over me and say things and would just be like im so sorry and whatever even if I wasn't in the wrong STICK UP FOR YOURSELF, even though it is hard to do so and trust I get it, sticking up for yourself is the most important thing and if you lose friends because of it then really they aren't a true friend.

Another reason I am chosing me over anything is to stop OVERTHINKING, it is something I always struggle with, I will overthink any little thing I can and honestly it actually sucks because it makes me not want to do anything and I just sit there and be miserable and scared and down for the whole day.

I hope you enjoy my blog because I am very excited to be blogging for everyone! if you do, i would love if you followed my socials which can be found below.

Instagram: @_ameliajl
Twitter: @ameliajfilms
YouTube: amelialaingfilms

Well welcome back to my blog, it's been a while hasn't it? so since my last post, what has happened? Well lets see, it has to be the fact that university became too much that to focus on my youtube and my blog as well as uni work was not something I could do. But now I have finished university for the second year, which means I have some time off, which means I can focus on my youtube and my blog.

So now that I am writing this blog post, of course I ahve finished second year and like last year I am going to summarise this year for me in a blog post. I am going to be talking about different things though to last year, because genuinely that was first year and there was a lot of adjustments compared to this year when I am used to being away from home. Be prepared this could be quite long so grab yourself a drink or a snack or both and get too reading.

This year has been a weird one and a test on myself if I am honest, I have had too many break downs this year and my mental health has been a bit up and down this whole year.

As I was saying earlier, second year really played a part of a hard year, I will be honest, social aspects and money stress didn't help, but second year really wasn't as much of a walk in the park as first year was and you really shouldn't expect it too. I will try and split it into topics like I did the last one but I honestly might struggle to do so.

(University of Portsmouth, Union Awards - Show Choir Performance)

1. The Course

I guess this is the most important thing for uni, because you're going to university to get a degree in the course, so I should probably explain that part first. This was what caused a lot of my problems this year, when they said second year is like 10 times harder then first year, they aren't joking and it is important to be prepared for it. When September came I was very excited to start second year, felt like it was going to be a change but a good change, felt more confident and eager to learn. The year started and already by the first day I was piled with a lot of work to do, including seminar prep. Every unit said that we should dedicate 5 hours outside of uni hours for each unit which meant for me, considering we had 6 units to complete within the year, ,so that meant 30 extra hours a week to focus on the units and then more hours when coursework came in. It became all too much and made this year very stressful.

I can't exactly pin point the reason why this year was such a hard year, but there was just so much to take in. Don't get me wrong what I learnt, most of the units were helpful to my future and what I would like to know in the future apart from one unit, that in my mind can go to hell, and I hope I never get to see anything to do with accounting again. Although I know that my course is really going to help me when I actually get that degree next year, some of the things I learnt this year really was not useful or helpful.

One piece of advice I will definitely be able to give you for second year is don't think you will be done with things from first year, you might actually repeat it again in a different scenario.

2. Friendships and Relationships

Something that did change a lot this year was my friendships and it was a shame because some of the friends that I kind of don't talk to anymore were some people I was really close with last year. But things do change especially in second year from first year, because for example I was close with my flatmates last year alongside their girlfriends and now we barely speak, and actually I only still occaisionally speak to their girlfriends on social media but that's all the contact I have with them now because we just grew apart because we're not living together anymore.

Not everything stays the same from First Year, you make so so many friends in first year because of the living situation and how new everything is, that you meet people and they instantly become friends to the point when you move to second years some of those friends you used to hang out with.

One thing I had was my best friend went to France for the year to study there, which meant she wasn't here for the whole year which made it a little harder this year because she was the one person I would run too when ever things felt to much or I was miserable etc.

3. Stress

So in this year I can hands down say that it was the most stressful year yet and I am aware my final year is going to stress me out, but so far this year was very stressful. This went from the Uni work, to managing my social life and then budgeting my money, none of that worked for me this year and it led to me stressing out a lot of the time, I always found a way to be stressed and if I was honest I never expected to be having it easy as so many people said second year was stressful but unfortunately this year was more stressful then I thought.

4. Society

As I have spoken about several times and especially in my last blog post, I am part of the Show Choir Society and this year it has been the best part of my year. I really grew this year thanks to this group of people, from gaining the confidence to audition for a solo song in the christmas showcase that I actually got and had to sing infront of people which a year ago I would have ran away from. Then I also auditioned to be part of the competition squad which originally I didn't get into and then someone dropped out and I was asked to be a part of it. It has been such a good year and helped me gain confidence in myself, to the point that I actually signed up to be part of the committee in the next year and got the role of secutary.

So that is the end of my post about my second year experience and that is the end of second year! Although this year has been a hard year I don't regret any of it.

I hope you enjoy my blog because I am very excited to be blogging for everyone! if you do, i would love if you followed my socials which can be found below.

Instagram: @_ameliajl
Twitter: @ameliajfilms
YouTube: amelialaingfilms

HELLO, THERE!

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