Hello and welcome back to my blog, I am so happy to be writing this blog post, mainly because I feel like I need to just need to get this off my chest, I even filmed a video on it. This is something I actually think that most girls, or most people should actually spend more time focusing on it. 

This is about why I am choosing myself over others now, and what I am doing to really be happy by myself. 

As Carrie Bradshaw once said, "I am just going to be myself. Single and Fabulous!" Which is the exact thing I am going to be. 

In the words of Ru Paul, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love someone else."

It takes a lot to say NO I am going to just focus on myself now and no one else and trust me I for one definitely get it, I have always been a person who puts other peoples feelings before mine! But sometimes you have to realise if you don't focus on yourself, you are not going to be happy! 

Being free and just the chance to be yourself and feel like you are going to love yourself and give yourself self care and make sure you are the happiest you can be on your own. 

I have a few reasons why I am choosing myself, first of all is HAPPINESS! This is because you can't and shouldn't rely on others to make you happy, yes you can be happy in the company of others but that doesn't mean you can't be happy with your own company and it should be you making yourself happy which is something I have had to learn over the past two years of university. 

Another thing is I am starting to realise I don't NEED others to make me happy, I just need myself, I need to focus on me and making myself happy! Which if you give yourself a healthy mindset you can be happy. 

This point leads on, the lss you need others the more INDEPENDANT you will become, becuase you won't be relying on anyone else but yourself to be happy which means you can realy focus on yourself. Because the more you rely on others to make you happy, means you'll do anything to make them happy even if you're not happy. So once you start focusing on yourself you become more independant. 

Another thing is and this goes back to making others happy, STOP doing things you don't want to do for others just because it'll make them happy. 

Another thing is and this is what I did all the time, I let people walk all over me and say things and would just be like im so sorry and whatever even if I wasn't in the wrong STICK UP FOR YOURSELF, even though it is hard to do so and trust I get it, sticking up for yourself is the most important thing and if you lose friends because of it then really they aren't a true friend. 

Another reason I am chosing me over anything is to stop OVERTHINKING, it is something I always struggle with, I will overthink any little thing I can and honestly it actually sucks because it makes me not want to do anything and I just sit there and be miserable and scared and down for the whole day. 

I hope you enjoy my blog because I am very excited to be blogging for everyone! if you do, i would love if you followed my socials which can be found below.

Well Hello and Welcome back to my blog and to another post, hope you're all doing well? Hope you're having a wonderful day. I have come up with this ideas to have these coffee chats on my blog because there are things I want to get off my chest and need to write down, whether this helps others or it's just there for my mind to reassure myself. 

This blog post is about how to deal with a heartbreak or surviving a down day, a lot of things will be talking about a heart break but I feel like some of the things you do to deal with a heart break, you can also do on a down day. Remember it's alright to have those days when you're feeling down. 

So story time before I give my little tips on how to deal with heartbreak, this topic came to me because recently I fell for a guy and we went on dates and things got a little closer in the fact that we nearly had sex, and then thing started to change, it went from him making an effort to see me, to then not making the effort and then him telling me he can't reciprocate the feelings, which okay yes he told me the truth, but he kind of led me on and it did hurt because I was falling for him and to hear that it really broke my heart. Even if I have never been in a relationship but I definitely felt my heart break over that, I cried from about 2am the night he told me to about 10pm the next day. But then these things I am bout to give you tips on helped me through it and I thought I would share it with you guys. I also made a statement on my instagram that can be found right here >>>> https://www.instagram.com/p/Bkq_5ZzBh5J/?taken-by=missamelia.jane. 

So lets get into these tips that I am given, none of them are professional, some of them are things I have heard from others and some of them are just things that genuinely helped me move on from everything that was going on in my life. 

1. Let out a little Cry
You probably hear this everywhere, but it's okay to let out a cry, to be emotional, it doesn't mean you're weak, it doesn't mean the other person has won, it just means you're human. Honestly as much as you might not want to cry, you need to, it lets out everything and all the pain you're feeling helps you let go, it's crazy to think that even just crying over something can help you, it won't mend a broken heart and it won't fix anything but it does help and it does make you feel better because you've addressed the problems in your head and your mind is just telling you that you need to cry and then you do, whether you cry in front of people or you cry on your own don't be ashamed as I promise you, you will feel a little better if you do so. 
2. Keep yourself busy
This is something that I think is important when you're having a down day or going through heartbreak, you need to keep yourself busy, make sure you're doing something all through the day because otherwise you're going to end up miserable and thinking about everything and sad. Luckily for me when I got told that this guy couldn't reciprocate the feelings for me, I was cleaning and having to pack my room up so that distracted me and honestly, having something to keep you busy always helps because then your mind isn't focusing on the bad things going on in your mind, your mind is focused on something else. 
3. Focus on the good things in your life
Of course when you're going through a bad time, it's hard to remember that there are so many good things going on in your life. It's something we all do when we're down, you just look past every amazing thing that is going for you and what is going on in your life. For example, as a uni student I can focus on all the amazing opportunities that are still out there for me. We can all focus on the good things and something I heard in a YouTube video that I recently watched, write in a journal either every night or when ever you feel down and sad, something that is really good in your life whether that be something you have achieved or whether it's a friendship or just something that has happened that has made you happy. The way I see it is always try to think positive.  
4. Give yourself Me time
This is something that we all neglect to do because you think you need to be somewhere for someone else, you have to do this for someone else, but where do you fit in? You can't always be places for others but you can always take a few hours of your day or a even a day and just have some time to yourself, whether that be just chill and watch a movie, or getting your nails done on your own, or reading a book, you really find that if you just give yourself time, it will really help and I think no matter how busy your days might be with meeting friends or going to work or college or school or whatever you have going on, you should give yourself a couple of hours to yourself and just unwind and give yourself some time a lone. Maybe do a little work out to clear your mind or have a nice pamper evening and relax and pop a Netflix show on. 
5. Go for Walks
This is something I really emphasise, going for walks anywhere can be relaxing, just a walk on your own with your headphones and listening to some music and just giving yourself time to unwind can be really helpful and can always help you  just clear your head. It's great if you live by a beach but even if you have a little park area you can go to, it really helps. Because you just have yourself, fresh air and a way to just relax and get your head away from anything that makes you miserable and feel down and clear your head of anything that is going on. Walks always help with that perfect playlist playing whilst your on that walk and i definitely recommend creating a certain playlist with music that helps pick you up and feel better.

So that is my tips on how to deal with a heart break or survive a down day, I would love to know any other tips that others have to deal with a down day or a heart break, so please leave your advice in the comments, it would be great to see so we can all help each other out. 

Thank you for taking the time to read my post, hope you check out my other blog posts and enjoy the rest of your day :)

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